Fanartistically challenged

I want someone to create software that will cleverly take a script, drabble or ficlet and turn it magically into a piece of fanart. Honestly, I have so many dorky little ideas for fanart that amuse me, but I can't draw for crap. I'm almost tempted to try and teach myself to draw just to get these little scenes and gags out of my system, but the results would be so embarrassing; I'm pretty sure it's not something you can learn at my age unless you're already talented in that direction. Thwarted geekdom. Hmph.